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SS 66 – Forgive or Relive Your Past with Marc Mero

Episode: 66

Guest: Marc Mero

iTunes: Stream Episode

Marc Mero appears on the Solomon Success show and talks to Jason about the importance of God and the value of relationships with your friends and family. Marc was a professional wrestler who lost it all and gained it all back spiritually. He is the founder of the charity organization, Champion of Choices and is also the author of the book, How to be the Happiest Person on the Planet. On today’s episode, Marc shares timeless wisdom about God, forgiveness, and living in the present moment.

 

Key Takeaways:
1:30 – Marc shares a bit of his life story.
3:10 – Our relationships are the most important things in our lives.
4:10 – Marc talks a little bit about Champion of Choices.
7:20 – Happiness comes from giving.
12:10 – There’s bad people in all religions and all faiths.
14:15 – How do we live in the moment?
16:35 – Remember, bad company corrupts good character.
18:15 – How do we make someone’s day?
19:30 – Get back up through adversity and failures. Do not stay down.

 

Tweetables:
“We tend to be so fixated on making a living that we forget to make a life.”

“People say, ‘Well, wrestling is fake.’ I say, ‘Well, I know, but gravity is real.’”

“Money can buy you a lot of things, but it ain’t going to buy you a ticket to heaven.”

 

Mentioned In This Episode:
How to be the Happiest Person on the Planet by Marc Mero.
ThinkPoz.org
MarcMero.com

 

Transcript

Jason Hartman:
It’s my pleasure to welcome Marc Mero to the show. He is a former WWF and WCW champion wrestler. He’s author of How to be the Happiest Person on the Planet and founder of Champion of Choice school program. Marc, welcome, how are you doing?

Marc Mero:
Thank you so much for having me on your show, Jason.

Jason:
Yeah, it’s great to have you and you’re coming to us from Orlando, Florida, is that correct?

Marc:
That is correct.

Jason:
Well, good stuff. You’ve got an amazing story, I mean with your background in wrestling. You rose to fame and fortune, I guess. You lost it, right? You made millions and then lost it all? Tell us more.

Marc:
I made some bad choices, let’s put it that way, Jason, but you know, I started out younger. I’ve always been real active in sports, hockey, football. I was in New York state Gold Glove boxing champion and then made it to the top of professional wrestling and we had an amazing on and off career for 14 years. Made a lot of money, but also made a lot of mistakes in my life and unfortunately I ended up losing almost everything, but more important than that, I lost some most important people of my life along that journey; my little brother and sister died at 21, my mother died at 58, my dad died while I was holing him in my arms, he died from lung cancer.

So, losing the most important people in my life really gave me an outlook on life that is so different now, because we tend to be so fixated on making a living that we forget to make a life and for the first time I learned how to make a life and with that, it’s giving back. The more we give, the more we get back in our own lives. When I started this program, this is a 8th year now with the Champion Choices program. We’ve spoken at over a 1,000 schools and churches and corporations around the country and it has just snowballed into an amazing opportunity to really empower people to live these victorious lives.

Jason:
Well, dive into your statement a little bit earlier of from making a living to making a life and help us distinguish what you mean there.

Marc:
First of all, you know, I see some youth that are so fixated on tomorrow or next week and not engaged in their own lives. In other words, what is truly important in our lives. Relationships are the most important we’re going to have and many times money and career and a lot of things we think are so important, but in the end is not as important as we really thought as much as relationships are. I’m the one that says go out there and dream big, think big, and go after your dreams and goals, but not at the expense of a relationship with family and friends and husband and wife.

So, by me losing everything including going through divorce and the death of many of my friends. You know, you’re in the wrestling industry, we lost many people that died, many of them died because of their bad choices, and by bringing that to the school program now, it’s really empowering young people to not make the same mistakes. It’s all about wisdom. Where do you get wisdom? You get from one of three places, you can get wisdom from a mentor, DVDS or CDS, or you get wisdom from mistakes. I would much rather them getting from mistakes, Jason, than their own.

Jason:
There’s a quote about that that I can’t remember very well right now, but you know, experience is the best teacher, the problem is you have to have the experience before you get the lesson or something like that.

Marc:
That is so true.

Jason:
Marc, I’m just dying to ask you and I bet a lot of people, how often do you get to talk to a professional wrestler, right? So, I’m going to throw it out there, answer any way you want, but how much of wrestling is staged? I mean, is it fake? Is it real? Give us, is it Hollywood? Tell us the deal.

Marc:
Well, let me tell you the truth, Jason. You know, people ask me all the time is wrestling fake, I tell them, only when I lose. Wrestling is entertainment, you know, it’s a dance, and you have to have a good partner to put on a good show and, you know, I’ve wrestled some of the greatest wrestlers in the world. I’m so blessed to be able to do that in my life and look back in my career and look at some of the great names that I was in the ring with to have, you know, wonderful matches with.

Jason:
Okay, so, do they tell you how to wrestler? Like, what do they do?

Marc:
No, actually, I went to wrestling school in Tampa, Florida and, you know, it’s just like going to kinda like, almost like stunt man school. You know, you learn how to fall proper, you learn the moves, you learn how to do the psychology of a match, and you know, it’s really a physical though. You know, people like say, “Well, wrestling fake.” I say, “Well, I know, but gravity is real.” When someone picks you up over the head and throws you over the top rope, it still hurts!

Jason:
Is it decided in advance who’s going to win or lose?

Marc;
Well, it’s just like you have script writers for a sitcom. You have people that write story lines that are 6 months down the road of who’s going to be where and who’s going to be holding the belt and so on and so forth and follow along with what that script is for your character and your program that you’re in with another wrestler.

Jason:
Yeah, wow. Interesting, interesting stuff. Well, the book is How to be the Happiest Person on the Planet, which is a great name. How do we do this? You know, you start off, you talk about positive thinking, of course, that’s critical, but what else? Take us through that journey of how to be really, truly happy.

Marc:
Well, I found that, you know, in life, our adversity; we’re all going to go through adversity, it’s just part of life, but I found that, you know, it’s not so much about our circumstance or our situation, it’s how we respond to it that makes all the difference in the world and my gosh, I have found a whole other response to adverse situations. First of all, it’s my faith in God. I’ve got a strong faith in God and it’s really helped changed my life, but also the calmness I have that I’ve never had before.

I was the guy that would throw my phone or swear or punch a hole in the wall or do something stupid, you know, and Dr. Phil would say, “Well, how’s that working out for you?” It didn’t work out very well, but learning how to have difference responses to adverse situations really changed my life and obviously with my faith in God, but I have just found a way to, like I said earlier, happiness comes from giving.

I’ll tell people, you wanna be happy? Make someone else happy. You want to be successful? Help someone else become successful. That’s the greatest chore I have in my life, is to help other people succeed in whatever they want to do, their dreams, their goals, but also, you know, teach them about how important relationships are, especially young people with their mother and father. You know, you only have one mom and dad and once they’re gone, they’re gone forever.

Jason:
You mentioned a couple of times there about your faith in God. Why is that important? I just find it interesting how people say that that’s important, people like yourself, and then the debates I’ve had with devote atheists about this whole issue, you know, tell us about that.

Marc:
You know, I think, everyone has their own choices in life. We are defined by our choices and people that are don’t believe in God, I mean, they have the right to believe whatever they want to believe, but I don’t attack anybody, I’m not trying to force anybody into anything, I just know it’s changed my life. People say, “Well, how do you know God is real?” I look at my own life and how I’ve been inspired to want to be a better person.

So, when someone says to me, “Well, Marc,” For example an atheist might say to me, “Well, Marc, what happens if you’re wrong?” I think about that. I really thought about that. What if I am wrong? Let’s say hypothetically speaking, there is no God, right? In other words, we would all go to the same place – nothingness.

Jason:
Yeah, I don’t think you have much lose by being wrong unless, unless, I guess maybe the argument, let’s take the atheist position on that for a moment, devil’s advocate, if you will. So, the atheist might think, “Well, then why don’t you just be totally hedonistic and just take everything you can from life and not live by Godly principles, right.” They would say, just be indulgent and hedonistic, right, that’s what they’d you’re losing, I think.

Marc:
Well, gosh. I lived that life, but I did! I lived that life. It never made me happy, you know? And this is the joy I have in my life, so..but here’s the thing, let’s say, I told you, let’s say I was wrong and there’s nothing, right, but what happens if they’re wrong? We go to two different places, you know. I’m number one, I would never want to take that chance, but even so, the thought of, the joy I had in my life and the way that I can help other people and the joy it brings me, I could never go back to that other life I lived, you know. We take everything, you know, that you can or just, you know, do what you want without regard for other people, whatever. I just don’t want to live like that. I lived like that for too long and it brought broken lives, broken hearts, broken relationships, death, and destruction. I don’t want to live that life.

Jason:
Good answer. So, you know, it’s just not fulfilling, is it? Even if it doesn’t bring all that broken stuff that you mentioned, I mean, if someone has unlimited money or resources and they just go out and party all the time, like, what’s wrong with that? Why doesn’t that fulfill people? You know, I’m trying to really distill that for the listeners.

Marc:
I think it’s a hopeless life. I mean, I had millions of dollars and it never made me happy. Money can buy you a lot of things, but it ain’t going to buy you a ticket to heaven, you know? I just think about, you know, where I am now and where I was and the difference is just incomprehensible of how happy I am now from living my life for God and, you know, like I said, I don’t really care what people think or say about me, it doesn’t bother me at all. I don’t go around, you know, screaming from roof tops, “Hey! I believe in Jesus.”

You know, I don’t live like that, but I gotta tell you something, anybody that meets me, if you talk to me long enough, you’ll realize there’s something different about me and something very special, because I really care about people. You really get this amazing love for people when you love God. You know, first commandment is love God with all your heart and mind and I do.

Jason:
You know, it’s amazing that people say that oh, well, you know, Christians have done so many bad things throughout history and all this kind of stuff. I don’t know! You know, the last time I went to church, it seemed like these people were helping people and donating their money and their time and I don’t know, I didn’t get the feeling that they were oppressing anybody.

Marc:
Well, Jason, I think…but you know what, looking from their points, there’s bad in all religions, in all faiths. I mean, that’s the whole thing. I mean, just because you’re Christian, it doesn’t mean you’re a perfect person. You’re just forgiven. I just think of people that, you know, have given Christianity a bad name. Pastors that have done some really immoral thing and taken down whole churches because of their conduct. Very, very sad, but that’s sin.

Jason:
Haven’t atheists done bad things and agnostics done bad things? You know..

Marc:
I’ve done bad things, Jason! We’ve all done bad things.

Jason:
Of course, so my point is though is I don’t think these people are asking the right question. Just because someone has done something bad and they’re wearing the banner of a given religion, well, you know, what about all the other people who are just non-believers who are wearing no banner? They do bad things. You know, it’s just like a silly argument.

Marc:
For me, it comes down to this, Jason, I want to live a life full of hope and when you just, when someone could say that oh, we all die, you know, 70-80-90 years old or whatever and then that’s it! What hope is there to think that this is going to be it? We were brought into this world and we just live these few years and then that’s it? I really, you know, and the worst case scenario, if I’m wrong, I’m just going where everybody else goes, nothingness, but I wanna live with hope in my heart knowing that there is going to be a reunion with loved ones that were, you know, also in a faith and believe in God. I just think that’s a great way to live – with hope in your heart.

Jason:
Marc, talk, if you would, about implementing some of these techniques in the book, How to be the Happiest Person on the Planet. You know, for example, living in the moment, you know, that’s a challenge for people, I know it’s certainly a challenge for me, you know, any specific like tactical things, you know? If we were wrestling, it would be like, pin the guy’s elbow down, right, you know, a specific thing. So, how do we live in the moment? How do we make someone’s day? You know, any ideas there?

Marc:
I guess the best example I can give you is many people live in the past. They maybe haven’t forgiven somebody or can’t get over something and, you know, with forgiveness, the great thing about forgiveness either you forgive or you relive and all you’re just going to relive these moments over and over and what we do is we end up locking our self in this emotional prison and we live this life over and over again just with the vindictiveness and anger and bitterness towards this and the sad part about is most people that sinned or hurt you, they moved on with their own life and they don’t think too much about you, you know, but it’s you that lives in that emotional prison all the time and that’s why I really think the key; one of the great keys in my life with forgiving everybody and everything.

People say, “Well, how do you know you’ve forgiven someone?” Well, let me tell you. If they mention your name and you don’t get angry any more, you know in your heart you have really forgiven that person. I gotta tell you, most people that have wronged me, I can’t really, when I try to even think about it, it’s hard to remember the people that have done something that’s so wrong in my life, but we all have a past, Jason. We either run from it or we grow from it.

Jason:
Good saying. Two great sayings in there forgive or relive and run from it or grow from it. I like that, but is there a difference, Marc, between forgiveness and holding people accountable? Do you make a distinction there?

Marc:
Well, here’s the thing, forgiveness is something, it’s not a change of memory, it’s a change of heart, you know.

Jason:
Yeah, does forgiveness mean you’re a doormat and you let people walk all over you?

Marc:
No! No! You do not excuse the behavior. I mean, there’s forgiveness, but you are not going to let somebody continuously wrong you over and over again. I mean, that’s just falls under, you know, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. You really have to, you know, once you forgive someone, but you’re not going to accept that behavior anymore. In other words, it’s sometimes unfortunate that we have to, there’s certain people that need to leave our life, because they can’t stop that behavior.

Jason:
Okay, good point. Alright, so getting them out of your life, that’s one way, right.

Marc:
Well, remember I told ya we become who we surround ourselves with and it’s so important to know this even, you know, in the bible it says don’t be mislead, bad company corrupts good character. So true, man. I’m the first guy that wants to help someone, but you ever get off the phone with someone for 20 or 30 minutes, Jason, where they just keep talking bad about someone. They say how miserable their life is. They hate this, they hate that. You actually physically get tired when you hang up the phone you go, oh my gosh. It just wears on you, because they don’t want, sometimes they’ll say misery loves company. They love being around people that are also miserable and it’s just a negativity just breeds more negativity.

Jason:
Good point, good point. Okay, so, living in the moment then, you’re saying, is really about not living in the past from what you talked about so far, but it’s also about not living in the future, right?

Marc:
Well, again, that falls under, you know, where we said we’re so fixated on making a living, we forget to make a life. Sometimes we are so, you know, engaged in things that haven’t even happened yet and/or worry, you know, worry is a mentality destructive behavior when you think about most of the things we worry about are never nearly as bad as we envision them to be. You know, you ever get so worried about something else and when it happens, you go, oh my gosh, it wasn’t even that bad, you know? Most of our worries never even happen and we just tend to worry about things, especially about things we can not control like the stock market, the economy, price of gas. Things we have no control over that, but we tend to worry about these things that we just, you know, have no baring on.

Jason:
And the interesting thing about worry is most of these worries never materialize. We just work ourselves up over them. It’s unfortunate. That’s a good point. Okay, so what about making someone’s day, any tactical specific tips on that?

Marc:
Well, I often tell people, man, you know, one of the greatest things we could do is make the first person feel special, whether it’s a big smile, a high five, a warm hug, a kind word. I often said, they don’t have a smile, give them yours! It’s so important. That is one of the greatest feelings in the world is seeing somebody smile and knowing that you were the one that put it there.

Jason:
Fantastic. Okay, so, making people smile. You know, we touched on really the let it go concept pretty well, doing the right thing, I think that’s fairly self-explanatory. What do you mean when you say get back up?

Marc:
Well, I mean, in life, it’s not how many times we get knocked down, it’s how many times we can get back up. To be successful, you have to pass failure and some of the times we define our lives by failure and I don’t want people to do that. It’s not only that, you’re not defined by other people’s opinions and so many times people will tell you can’t do something, you’re a failure, you’re this or that, and we tend to believe that and so many times we base on limitations on what other people say or think about us and I just, you know, we’ve all gone through adversity, but it’s about those people who can get back up and overcome that adversity, really make a life for themselves.

Jason:
Good stuff. Well, Marc Mero, you got a philosophy, a great outlook, give out your website, tell people where they can find out more about you and just quickly tell us what you’re doing with school Choices.

Marc:
Sure, the website ThinkPoz.org and if you’re a church or religious organization, my website is name, MarcMero.com. The school program is just fantastic. We, like I said, we’ve been at over a 1,000 schools now and mostly just middle and high schools and colleges. I love doing colleges also and we often see students that writing to me hundreds and hundreds of letters from after a presentation how it, the common theme is ‘this changed my life today’, but again, it’s just about empowering people and letting them realize how special and valuable they are. We have to learn to love ourselves, Jason. You can’t give away what you don’t have.

Jason:
Great point, great point. Marc, you’re making a great contribution to the world and thank you so much for joining us today and sharing what you’re doing and just keep up the good work, okay? Awesome, awesome stuff.

Marc:
Thank you so much, Jason. God bless you and your listeners. I hope to meet you in person someday.